Ski Bernalwood: Your Official Trail Map for San Francisco’s Premier Wintersports Resort

While rained in Bernal Heights last week, it snowed hard in Lake Tahoe — so much so that some ski resorts got more than 100″ of snow. It was cold here, too, so snow even fell on nearby Mt. Tam and Mt. Diablo. But when I climbed to the top of Bernal Hill on Sunday, there was no snow to ski on, and that made me sad.

It’s too bad, because (as I’ve argued before), with a few feet of snow piled on top, Bernal Hill could deliver some epic rides. Indeed, as I looked down from Bernal, I began to visualize what it would look like after a big dump, and which lines would offer the best runs. And then — NIMBYs be damned! — I began to envision how to turn Bernal Hill into San Francisco’s premier destination ski resort.

Highlights of my proposal include:

Two High-Speed Chairifts: The Stoneman Chair, which zips up Bernal’s northwest corner from the foot of the hill near Coso Street, provides unparalleled access to the mountain’s advanced terrain. For beginners and intermediates, the Vista Pointe Chair carries kids of all ages up the gentle slopes of Ski Bernalwood’s eastern face.

Xtreme Terrain: Ski Bernalwood has the vertical drops that will keep adrenaline junkies coming back for more.

14 Limited is the mountain’s longest and most challenging run. A steep plunge down Bernal’s northwest face, the ride is as intense as the MUNI bus line from which it takes its name. The line down 14L takes you off the nose at the top of the hill, shooting you through the tree glade below the former roadbed and all the way down to the base of the Stoneman Chair.

Here’s the view from the top of 14 Limited:

Cornelio’s Folly, named after Jose Cornelio Bernal, is home to the Ski Bernalwood Air Force. A rock-faced cornice on the hill’s south face, Cornelio’s Folly drops into a perfectly sloped landing zone that makes it ideal terrain for hucking backflips.

Summit Lodge, Restaurant, and Cocktail Lounge: With only modest modification, the microwave antenna control facility atop Bernal Hill could be converted into an alpine lodge and eatery with commanding views of the surrounding cityscape. I propose outsourcing food services to Baby Blues BBQ and Emmy’s Spaghetti Shack, while recruiting Royal Cuckoo to operate the bar.

There’s an old saying: “When hell freezes over, I’ll ski that too.” With an investment of just a few million dollars, Bernalwood can be ready whenever that finally happens.

UPDATE: According to the San Francisco Chronicle, it really could snow in San Francisco this coming weekend! Contact Bernalwood to pre-purchase your lift tickets, and we’ll see you at the summit of 14 Limited.

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13 Responses to Ski Bernalwood: Your Official Trail Map for San Francisco’s Premier Wintersports Resort

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Ski Bernalwood: Your Official Trail Map for San Francisco’s Premier Wintersports Resort | Bernalwood -- Topsy.com

  2. johnny0 says:

    Anyone have pictures of Bernal during the 1976 or 1962 SF snows? It could prep us for this weekend. Viva La Niña! Viva El Aire Frío de Canadá!

  3. Pingback: Ski Down the 14-L in Bernalwood « Muni Diaries

  4. mary says:

    this is probably the coolest thing that i have seen on the internet ever. my house is ski-in/ski-out!

  5. denise says:

    LOLOLOL, sign me up for Saturday morning.
    Go Ski Bernalwood!!!

  6. ed olsen says:

    I don’t remember snow on Bernal in 1952, but there must have been. There
    was patches on the street at Mission and Santa Rosa in front of Jims Donuts.
    After having breakfast at Jims, a bunch of us got into a friend’s ’51 Mer and
    drove up Radio Road to Mt San Bruno for a snow ball fight. Don’t get too excited
    about snow in SF, all you going to see is patches up on Twin Peaks.

  7. Pingback: Your Ski Bernalwood Snow Report for Feb. 25, 2011 | Bernalwood

  8. transbay says:

    I am guessing that when today’s Chronicle mentions that “one blogger” posted a pretend ski map of Bernal Heights, it refers to this fine blog. I suppose it would have been far too much trouble for the Chron to actually name the blog, and then show some class by adding a link in the online edition.

  9. Jeremy says:

    Oh my god. Is this what heaven looks like? Is there anyway we can kickstart the next ice age and make this happen?

  10. Dexter Wong says:

    Great blog! Now if the weather was a little different, at least Bernalwood would have some snow.

  11. Pingback: Remembrance of Hootenannies Past: RIP Bernal Hill’s Great Horned Owls | Bernalwood

  12. Pingback: Ye Shall Walk Bernal Streets, And Know They Are Steepest | Bernalwood

  13. Rita Roti says:

    I’d like to request a lift from La Lengua to the ski lodge!

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