Satanists Conduct Unholy Ritual on Bernal Hill!

When Agent Amy from the BIA went for a walk on Bernal Hill late yesterday afternoon, she discovered fresh evidence of unholy activities by Satanists in our midst. She says:

I saw this brand-spanking new pentagram at the top of Bernal Hill. The paint’s still wet! In the center there’s a red paper goat, but also charred goo and drip marks suggesting some mysterious satanic gore. At the points of the pentagram are playing cards and melted black candles.

And leading away from the pentagram, the cloven hoof-prints of Lucifer himself? Also in photo: An innocent three-year old, for scale.

Yikes. Frankly, I have no idea what to make of this.

Also, I admit that as soon as I saw Agent Amy’s photos of the pentagram, I pictured that old album cover by Rush, and “Tom Sawyer”┬ábegan playing in my head. But that may just be a generational thing…

PHOTOS: Agent Amy

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34 Responses to Satanists Conduct Unholy Ritual on Bernal Hill!

  1. Umm…could be any number of government-protected religions….several use those symbols….could be wiccan.

  2. Rush rules! SLAPPIN’ DA BASS!

  3. Oh no, someone is worshiping a different imaginary friend than the majority-approved imaginary friend!

  4. aidan says:

    High school sure is boring

  5. EH says:

    Metal/Goths: 1; Squares: 0

    An innocent three-year old, for scale.

    I see what you did there. Did you do your duty and teach the child that they should be as freaked out as you?

  6. SeanD says:

    All hail Satin! Er, I mean, nevermind…

  7. Brillo says:

    Silly Satanists. They’ve got the wrong hill. Clearly they were looking for Goat Hill. Or maybe Billy Goat Hill.

  8. Nina says:

    Sooooo does this count as graffiti? Or not, because it is on the ground? Do we leave it there because it looks pretty cool, or call the city to have them clean it up? Who’s gunna call?

  9. Derek says:

    Party leftovers from a local coven? I’m sure Bernal must have several. Hopefully they read your blog and can explain the paper goat.

  10. Rudha-an says:

    Fascinating. :) Funny post and very funny comments. Y’all made my day.

  11. Jay says:

    This post doesn’t cover the most important point – did their summoning ritual succeed? Does some cloven-foot demon now stalk Bernalwood? Will he dress in vintage clothing? Be spotted at a garage sale? Feast on the denizens of La Lengua before returning to Hades? Please follow up…

  12. rallyp says:

    Word is getting out! I’m sitting in Progressive Grounds on Cortland and two random guys just walked in and asked for directions to go see this. They had a laptop and they had THIS page displayed.

  13. Maybe it’s another music video shoot? More Darkthrone and less Rush I am thinking.

  14. Frank says:

    Trekked up the hill to see the pentagram. It has been painted over with gray paint.

  15. silas says:

    agent amy dosent happen to have a daughter around the age of 2-3 does she? Or a fascination with the occult? An incident such as this is reflective of vanity-staging.A thing an individual, or group of individuals do for some type of attention. (like perhaps someone wishing to give credence to claims of satanism, someone who feels ignored by the community or peers, who decides to stage a comical little mock-ritual to justify their delusions.)

    Sham.

  16. silas says:

    Such a thing as this would be easily solvable with a bit of digging, but its unlikely anyone will care enough to take the time unless other more threatening incidents occur. Everything in the photo could have been easily obtained at one of countless occult shops. The layout itself indicates organization, and forethought; it was fairly elaborate, but overall lacking a real familiarity with the ritualism involved. (the lack of any salt, or sulphur for circle protections for one.) I’m curious though as to whether or not there was any dates with special meaning associated to the timeline in which the layout was discovered. ( i’ll check a week prior to the discovery.)

    weird shit, but not ominous in and of itself.

  17. kortney says:

    Pentagrams are not Satanic. Perhaps it was a mock, misguided ritual that put Pagan and Satanic-like themes together, like the paper goat (Pagans don’t use blood of any kind as sacrifice.) Paganism is a nature based, earth loving spirituality that predates Christianity and Judaism.) Satanic worship is a mystery to me and I’m not sure there is an organized such thing. Sorry…but I hate the confusion and misrepresentation of Witch, Pagan, Pentagram with Satan. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentagram

  18. Pingback: Creepy Pentagram Triggers Mirth, Media Frenzy, and Tales of Animal Sacrifice | Bernalwood

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