Wicked Witch Meets Sudden Demise in Pre-Halloween Crash

Witch Misdirected

Tragedy struck on a recent evening in Bernal Heights when a wicked witch perished in an aeronautical mishap. Neighbors reported hearing the witch cackling as she flew on her signature broom, before her cruel taunt was cut short by an apparent pilot error that sent the witch careening into a telephone pole at the corner of Anderson and Eugenia.

“I heard the whole thing,” recalls neighbor Dorothy Oz. “I heard the witch cry, ‘I’ll get you my pretty, and your little do—‘ But she never finished the sentence.  I just heard a whooshing noise, and a dull thud, and then we found the witch wrapped around the pole.”

Representatives from the San Francisco Police, the National Transportation Safety Board, and the Department of Homeland Security are investigating the incident, which has preliminarily been deemed an accident, although experts will also search for any evidence of foul play.

Upon hearing the news, neighborhood youth responded with glee, and at several local elementary schools, teachers report that children spontaneously started to sing the chorus of “Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead” over and over and over and over again.

PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

About these ads
This entry was posted in Calamity, Found Things. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Wicked Witch Meets Sudden Demise in Pre-Halloween Crash

  1. Will there be a wake? Burial, cremation or re-incarnation?

  2. Judge Crater says:

    There is some sort of event scheduled Monday, just after dark, on Cortland Street.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s