Two Must-Read Articles by Bernal Heights Journalists

Though you’d hardly know it from the paltry number of then who have written for Bernalwood (AHEM! Hint! Hint!), Bernal Heights is home to several celebrity journalists who write for glamorous national publications.

For example, Tim Dickinson is a contributing editor at Rolling Stone, and he covers National Affairs from the magazine’s Bernal Heights bureau. Neighbor Tim just published a thoroughly reported piece that reveals how Mitt Romney used a federal bailout to rescue Bain Capital from financial collapse in the early 1990s:

Government documents on the bailout obtained by Rolling Stone show that the legend crafted by Romney is basically a lie. The federal records, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, reveal that Romney’s initial rescue attempt at Bain & Company was actually a disaster – leaving the firm so financially strapped that it had “no value as a going concern.” Even worse, the federal bailout ultimately engineered by Romney screwed the FDIC – the bank insurance system backed by taxpayers – out of at least $10 million. And in an added insult, Romney rewarded top executives at Bain with hefty bonuses at the very moment that he was demanding his handout from the feds.

I know, right? What a surprise. Oh, and you’ll never guess who also loved loved loved Neighbor Tim’s article:

Wow. SO SEXY!

Meanwhile, you should also read yesterday’s New York Times piece by Bernal resident Chris Colin. Neighbor Chris tells Bernalwood, “This happened in Bernal, but isn’t about Bernal.” It’s a tale about a Craigslist transaction that went wrong after Chris got stiffed for 50 bucks by a buyer who never paid for the goods he received:

I didn’t care about the money. I cared about the abuse of this rare bit of fellowship. Hadn’t we carved out a morsel of old-fashioned San Francisco grooviness, at a time when the city seems to be pivoting into something less wild? Less wild and more coolly decadent, more $15 pickle plate-ish. I wanted to believe we could still get down to naked trust for a night, take our hands off the PayPal handlebars.

A few more weeks passed. Another month. There’d been one e-mail promising to mail the check, then silence.

Maybe this is catching him at a hard time, I thought. But truth was, Joe seemed to be having a pretty normal time. With his ample tweeting and active Facebooking — well over 1,000 friends! — he allowed for robust stalking. There he was on a sailboat. On a golf course. With some bros. Dancing goofily. Doing his handsome face. Doing some artsy stuff. He looked like someone you’d gone to camp with. Apparently he works for some progressive-sounding start-up, the kind whose Web site speaks of community and so forth.

Check out the rest of Chris’s tale of Digital Age IOU woe here.

Watch a Film About Watching a Film at the Bernal Heights Outdoor Film Festival

Last night I fought my way through the velvet ropes and throngs of groupies to attend the glamorous Bernal Heights Outdoor Film Festival screening that happened on the north side of Bernal Hill.

Since there were no critics from Fox News in the attendance, the festival organizers decided to show “My Grandmother,” a bizarre 1929 silent film from the Soviet Union, which was accompanied by a pitch-perfect live music performance by the Beth Custer Ensemble.

It was deeply fantastic. Here’s a little sampler of what you missed:

More screenings happen tonight on stylish Cortand Avenue beginning at 7 pm. Check the schedule for full details and enjoy.

Editor’s Note: To whoever it was that arrived at the screening in this pristine 1976 AMC Pacer X: Well played!

PHOTO: Adrian Mendoza VIDEO: Telstar Logistics

The Ten Cheapest Homes For Sale in Bernal Heights Right Now

Looking for an inexpensive home to buy in glamorous Bernal Heights? You already know this, but such a thing does not really exist. Ack.

Nevertheless. on a relative basis, what does an entry-level Bernal Heights home look like these days? This week our real estate-obsessed friends at Curbed SF pulled together an illuminating list of “The Ten Least Expensive Properties For Sale in Bernal Heights:”

This week we’re heading up a hill to check out the current residential real estate scene in Bernal Heights. At first we thought there was a plethora of inventory, but it turns out a good portion (and the least expensive) of the listings were for land, not homes on land. Boundaries are above (you can click the map for a larger view) and are set by the realtors. As always, no property with a sale that’s currently pending were included on this list.

Prices range from $478,000 (2BR, 1,024 sq. ft. on Putnam) to $819,000 (2BR, 1,730 sq. ft. on College Terrace). See all ten houses, with details and commentary, over at Curbed SF.

Then let’s discuss… right here.

UPDATE: In the comments, Miss Sally from CurbedSF tells us: “The real estate market moves quickly.  4 of the homes that were for sale on Monday have already gone into contract, and the least expensive has been taken off the market.”

The photo at the top of this post has been revised accordingly.

Hey, What Happened to That Owl on Gates Street?

Neighbors Rudy and Kseniya report that an owl has gone missing from a home on Gates near Cortland. The missing creature is a presumably a decorative statue… but we’re not entirely sure. Also, :-(

UPDATE: The owl belonged to Neighbor Nancy, who just commented:

Yes, our owl went missing a couple of weeks ago. It’s purpose was to scare away the pigeons, but all the local kids, including ours, loved it!   If you know of its whereabouts, please return it. The outpouring of concern has been amazing, but it’s disheartening that it happened in the first place.

PHOTO: Neighbor Kseniya

Sinkhole on Ellsworth Opens Portal to Alternate Universe

Neighbor Rachel reports there was a water main break on Ellsworth at Jarboe last night. The break created a small sinkhole that provided a rare glimpse at the watery realm that dwells just beneath our feet:

We woke up last night to a loud sound under our house at about 1am. It sounded like it was coming from our basement. After checking it out, and seeing a wet sidewalk across the street, we called 311. Soon after, when police & water dept arrived, water was gushing out of sewer vents down the hill. Jackhammering began at about 6am.

Good times.

PHOTO: Neighbor Rachel

Action! It’s Time for the Bernal Heights Outdoor Film Festival

It’s that time of year again!

It’s the time of year when the streets of Bernal Heights are clogged with black stretch limousines disgorging gaggles of glamorous celebrities and glitterati, all of whom have come to enjoy the world-famous Bernal Heights Outdoor Film Festival.

The BHOC kicks off tonight with a stylish party, then runs until September 2. Per tradition, the schedule will bring BHOC to a variety of glamorous Bernal venues, with a fabulous lineup of films showing at each location. The screenings are free, but its up to you to bring your own seating, popcorn, and premium wine coolers for refreshment. Check out the complete BHOC schedule for full details, but here’s an overview of the events:

1. August 29
Opening Night at Roccapulco Supper Club
3140 Mission Street
7 pm

2. August 30
Top of the Hill, Bernal Heights Park

Folsom Street at Bernal Heights Boulevard
7 pm

3. August 31
Film Crawl on Cortland

7 pm, 8 pm and 9pm

PLUS: After Party
The Lucky Horseshoe
453 Cortland Ave
10 pm

4. September 1
Park Bench Café
3214 Folsom Street
4:30 pm

Under the Stars at Precita Park
6:30 pm
Films & music in the park

5. September 2
Connecting Filmmakers
& Film Lovers
Dell’Uva
3235 Mission St
4:30 pm

PLUS: Closing Night at El Rio
3158 Mission St
8 pm

Again, visit the BHOC website for complete details, dress warmly, and see you there.

PHOTOS: Telstar Logistics