Mossie 2012: Mutant Bernal Heights Moss Creature Launches Bold Campaign for White House

From his covert utility-meter lair hidden inside an otherwise typical home on Bocana Street, Mossquatch, Bernal’s favorite mutant Bryophyta-Homo Sapien hybrid, has launched a daring campaign to become the next President of the United States.

We have no information on Mossquatch’s fundraising efforts or his campaign strategy, but Bernalwood expects his policy positions to be very, very green.

Also, for what it’s worth, your Bernalwood editor totally anticipated Mossquatch’s political career in our original post last year:

Prediction: Mossquatch is embraced as folk hero by Bernal Heights vegans, becomes raw food spokesmonster, develops political aspirations, defeats David Campos (the “rumored omnivore”) for D9 Supervisor’s seat, serves two terms in Board of Supes, runs for Mayor of San Francisco, and, after hard-fought campaign, elected by mudslide in 2019.

Mossquatch: He’s tanned! He’s rested! He’s ready!

PHOTOS: Fiid Williams

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4 Responses to Mossie 2012: Mutant Bernal Heights Moss Creature Launches Bold Campaign for White House

  1. chris says:

    He’s got my vote!

  2. Mike says:

    Keep Mossie in Bernal! Write him in for District Nine in November. David Campos is obviously worried about being defeated. I received a eight page glossy Re-elect David Campos campaign flyer in yesterday’s mail. Campos’ decision to spend public (or private) campaign funds on this mailer (when his name is the only one on the ballot) should really make all of us question whether he has any sense of fiscal judgement. A Mosshead would definitely make a better Supervisor than a Bonehead!

    • SAB says:

      Perhaps your impulse to use this light-hearted humor piece as a platform to spread your political opinion is one of the reasons that David Campos decided he still needs to convey his record of achievement and what he stands for to his constituents. He is not taking any of us for granted. Even you.

      • Mike says:

        No real political opinions here. I am just questioning the common sense. Does it really make sense for a Supervisor from a Board that passes legislation to charge for paper bags and considers banning the Yellow Pages to send out an election mailer that out does anything sent out by the Millionaire Munger Family or the other cash fueled Super Pacs when running unopposed?

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