Bernalwood 2012: The Year in Superlatives

Bernalwood.Unicorn

It’s late December, and 2012 is riding off into the sunset. Let’s use this time to review some of The Most Mostest Moments that happened in Bernal Heights this year.

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Most Moving Appreciation For An Old Piece of Playground Equipment

Neighbor Orlando’s ode to the Precita Playground “Satellite Spinner” reveals a deep personal history behind this battered landmark, and his words always put a lump in my throat. (June)

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Most Exciting Headline Written Without Having to Stage a Fake News Event to Make It Happen

Finally!! Bigfoot Sighting on Bernal Hill!! (July)

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Most Poignant Reminder That Bernal Heights Is a Special Kind of Place

Neighbors gather for a memorial service to honor Steven, the much-loved homeless gentleman who lived in the western end of Precita Park. (January)

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Star-Sighting that Did The Most to Boost Bernal’s Indie Street-Cred:

David Byrne strolls Cortland Avenue while in town for a series of shows. (October)

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Most Boneheaded Way to Show Us That You Really Care:

Supervisor David Campos signals his deep concern for domestic violence by becoming one of only four Supervisors who voted to allow confessed domestic-abuser Ross Mirkarimi  to retain his job as Sheriff. (October)

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Most Glamorous and Improbable Thing to Fly Over Bernal Heights

Space Shuttle Endeavour circles Bernal Hill during its farewell tour. (September)

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Deepest Feeling of Loss About the Closure of a Local Business

StrayBarListing

Neighbor Karen decided to hang up her spurs at the Stray Bar on Cortland. (December)

Runner Up: Red Hill Books (only because it is morphing, if not quite closing)

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Most Awesome Animated GIF Ever Created to Protect Bernal Heights from Weaponized Burritos

Hats off to Neighbor Joe, who created this elaborate visualization to demonstrate the Mark II “Eye of Sautrito” Defense System , which is designed to counter the threat of La Lengua’s Burrito Rail Gun. Notice also that it zaps the burrito weapon Every. Single. Time.

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Biggest Mystery We Don’t Really Want to Solve

Who is the Bikini Jogger, and where will she turn up next?

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Best Passive-Aggressive Parking Note Written By Someone Who Doesn’t Even Live Here

Stencils of Doom

An outraged young man from out of town was very upset because his car was towed when he tried using Bernal Heights as a long term parking lot. He then declared that the removal of his vehicle “forever marked San Franciscas as snobby, me-first people in the eyes of my thousands of blog and internet followers.” (February)

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Most Zen-Like Artistic Moment in the Convoluted History of the Bernal Heights Library Mural

There was that brief period; the November interregnum between the old mural and the new, when there was no mural painted on the Bernal Heights Public Library. It was an ephemeral moment, but that may have made it the most dramatic creative statement we’ll ever get to see there.

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Most Heroic Performance By a Clearly Outclassed Domestic Animal

Feline Defender

That would be my cat Smudge, who single-handedly repelled an entire family of invading raccoons, using only mean facial expressions and Jedi mind tricks. (July)

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Neighbor We Saluted Most for Rocking the Hardest

Enough good things cannot be said to properly endorse Neighbor Clarissa’s winning submission to the Bernalwood Air Guitar Photo Content that we held back in July. We were also thrilled to discover that Neighbor Toki has a bright future as a rockstar ahead as well. Keep an eye on that young man.

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7 Responses to Bernalwood 2012: The Year in Superlatives

  1. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    Thank you once again, Supervisor Campos, for voting the right way on that politically-motivated witchhunt!

  2. shrinkrap305 says:

    Perhaps this appeared in 2011, but I would have liked to have seen the “Best Blog Post About the Bernal Heights Bar Scene,” the one that essentially said “if you’re older and like to party, come to Bernal Heights.”

  3. Ross says:

    I love all of these but I would put Occupy Bernal in the Superlative of the Superlatives. We saved many neighbors from losing their homes. It doesn’t get much better than that.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Good call! Occupy Bernal has even been getting national attention, and rightfully so!

  4. Polaris says:

    What about the mystery Bernal Hill Dumpers at the beginning of the year? Scuttlebutt is one of the neighbors video systems recorded a dump truck in the middle of the night going up the hill full and minutes later coming down empty. Additionally the owners name was visible on the side with a phone number. If true, why wasn’t that followed up with SFPD???

  5. I absolutely love bernalwood with a UNICORN!! It just doesnt get any better than this right this very second! I agree with every comment posted above this. This is why i love this neighborhood. Dont ever change or at lose your moxie bernal!

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