It’s late December, and 2012 is riding off into the sunset. Let’s use this time to review some of The Most Mostest Moments that happened in Bernal Heights this year.
Most Moving Appreciation For An Old Piece of Playground Equipment
Neighbor Orlando’s ode to the Precita Playground “Satellite Spinner” reveals a deep personal history behind this battered landmark, and his words always put a lump in my throat. (June)
Most Exciting Headline Written Without Having to Stage a Fake News Event to Make It Happen
Most Poignant Reminder That Bernal Heights Is a Special Kind of Place
Neighbors gather for a memorial service to honor Steven, the much-loved homeless gentleman who lived in the western end of Precita Park. (January)
Star-Sighting that Did The Most to Boost Bernal’s Indie Street-Cred:
David Byrne strolls Cortland Avenue while in town for a series of shows. (October)
Most Boneheaded Way to Show Us That You Really Care:
Supervisor David Campos signals his deep concern for domestic violence by becoming one of only four Supervisors who voted to allow confessed domestic-abuser Ross Mirkarimi to retain his job as Sheriff. (October)
Most Glamorous and Improbable Thing to Fly Over Bernal Heights
Space Shuttle Endeavour circles Bernal Hill during its farewell tour. (September)
Deepest Feeling of Loss About the Closure of a Local Business
Neighbor Karen decided to hang up her spurs at the Stray Bar on Cortland. (December)
Runner Up: Red Hill Books (only because it is morphing, if not quite closing)
Most Awesome Animated GIF Ever Created to Protect Bernal Heights from Weaponized Burritos
Hats off to Neighbor Joe, who created this elaborate visualization to demonstrate the Mark II “Eye of Sautrito” Defense System , which is designed to counter the threat of La Lengua’s Burrito Rail Gun. Notice also that it zaps the burrito weapon Every. Single. Time.
Biggest Mystery We Don’t Really Want to Solve
Who is the Bikini Jogger, and where will she turn up next?
Best Passive-Aggressive Parking Note Written By Someone Who Doesn’t Even Live Here
An outraged young man from out of town was very upset because his car was towed when he tried using Bernal Heights as a long term parking lot. He then declared that the removal of his vehicle “forever marked San Franciscas as snobby, me-first people in the eyes of my thousands of blog and internet followers.” (February)
Most Zen-Like Artistic Moment in the Convoluted History of the Bernal Heights Library Mural
There was that brief period; the November interregnum between the old mural and the new, when there was no mural painted on the Bernal Heights Public Library. It was an ephemeral moment, but that may have made it the most dramatic creative statement we’ll ever get to see there.
Most Heroic Performance By a Clearly Outclassed Domestic Animal
That would be my cat Smudge, who single-handedly repelled an entire family of invading raccoons, using only mean facial expressions and Jedi mind tricks. (July)
Neighbor We Saluted Most for Rocking the Hardest
Enough good things cannot be said to properly endorse Neighbor Clarissa’s winning submission to the Bernalwood Air Guitar Photo Content that we held back in July. We were also thrilled to discover that Neighbor Toki has a bright future as a rockstar ahead as well. Keep an eye on that young man.