Birth Control Proposed as Long-Term Remedy for Problematic Parking on Bocana


Neighbor Esther recently found this note from the “Bocana Parking Psycho” (her phrase) plastered to the window of a parked car taking up two (2) precious street spaces:

Spotted on tonight’s dog walk. That’s a condom packet taped to the upper left.

PHOTO: Neighbor Esther

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82 Responses to Birth Control Proposed as Long-Term Remedy for Problematic Parking on Bocana

  1. The only logical response is to post a sub-note with a list of good shrinks in the area the complainant might avail themselves of…

  2. Bubba says:

    A new industry is born today in Bernal. Maybe this could be a drive thru service… helping to open up more parking spaces

  3. Brian says:

    Even though the person is rude in their note, it is completely inconsiderate to take up more than 1 space on the street. There may have been a nicer way to convey that message, but I can also see the complainant’s frustration.

  4. Brandon says:


  5. fenderhardt says:

    I have a lovely Bernal neighbor who routinely bumps my car in order to determine her car’s distance from mine when she’s parking (“Oops! There it is!”). Despite witnessing this more times than I can even remember, I always parked my car in such a way as to maximize the small space so she could park her car in front of her driveway, as is her wont. Until one day, when these neighbors completely boxed me in so that I could not get out at all. When they finally moved their car, I pulled my car a little closer to their driveway, so there was some space for me to reverse into should I need to get out of the spot. The next day, she did her usual bumping of my car while parking, then I saw her leave a note on my windshield. I wondered what prompted her to write an apology after doing this so many times already. Maybe she was apologizing for boxing me in the day before? Ha! It was no apology. She was complaining that I was parked too close to her driveway! I was completely legally parked, was not blocking her driveway, and was not in any red zone. I ignored the note. Then a few days later, when I had parked my car as far away from her driveway as I could, she left another note, asking me to pull forward to her car! I couldn’t believe this woman was trying to micromanage my parking, basically so that she and only she would be able to park in this spot, particularly given her obvious disregard for anyone else’s car. I ignored that note too.

    • Neighbor Peter says:

      Parking in San Francisco is a contact sport.

    • Lara says:

      Fender- was that on Folsom? Have had similar experiences with a neighbor..

    • Neighbor J says:

      This is the kind of self entitled behavior that really puts me off. Sooooo many people in this city are so unbelievably self centered and I’ll never understand it. I’ll bet it never even occurred to her that bumping another person’s car every day was wrong, because it was her that was doing it and not the other way round. Heaven forbid you come one foot closer to “her” space, though, and you get a nasty-o-gram.

      • fenderhardt says:

        She looks like she’s in her 20s, and I remember how entitled I was then, so hopefully she’ll eventually grow up and will realize that me and my little ol’ car don’t exist solely to save her preferred spot.

  6. Up the Hill says:

    Judging by the handwriting, this person neither owns nor is over 21. Grain of salt. Also, there’s a good chance that this note was left just so they could see it on Bernalwood!

    • SAB says:

      And we all know that owning one’s house gives you more of a voice in the community than someone who rents.

      • BAJATO says:

        -1 Distraction from the issue at hand

      • Up the Hill Still says:

        Yes. Homeowners tend to care more about their neighborhoods than passers-through.

      • salsa says:

        +2, completely relevant! Owners have no more right to street parking than anybody else.

      • BAJATO says:

        this is an interesting subject for discussion. in a different thread. the subject here is a weak-minded person who hides behind anonymity to harass, threaten and spray misplaced rage… :-)

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

        Yup. I’ve never understood people who think that owning a house rather than renting should somehow give you more of a voice. Fucking insanity.

  7. BP says:

    I’m worried that the infamous Parking Psycho is going to heap abuse (and perhaps contraceptives) upon visiting friends someday. All I know is that I’m so glad I have a garage.

  8. R says:

    Child’s play.. heck, we had a neighbor knock on our door and tell us to move our car as it was (legally) parked in front of their house.

    My gf, who is much more polite than I, answered the door and handled the complaint in a much nicer manner than I would have.

    • dh says:

      We have had the same experience. It’s sad that to some people, parking is more important than having good relationships with neighbors.

      • doug says:

        In defense of Bernal, an old neighbor of mine in Seattle used to pull that as well.

  9. Brunnhilde says:

    It’s getting ugly out there….

  10. Parking Entitlement says:

    I never understood the entitlement of so-called ownership of the public space in front of your house. Since leaving bernal and moving to the suburbs, my neighbor once asked me not to park in front of his house, but since there is an ocean of parking spots available, including directly in front of my own house, it doesn’t really matter. But in SF? Insane.

  11. Biggsie says:

    Ha! It’s laughable when people think they somehow own the spots in front of their homes. We live in a city. Get over it.

  12. Pingback: Parking note of the year/decade left up in Bernal Heights | Bay Area 4 Barstool

  13. doug says:

    On top of everything else wrong with the person that left that note, how do they know what the spot looked like before the accused parked there? It could have had a motorcycle, a SmartCar, another badly parked car—any number of combinations that appear outside my place every day.

    People inclined to leave notes like this, you’re shitty attitude is taking years off your life, and probably effecting those around you as well. Learn to take a few deep breathes and think “does this really matter?” If you can’t do that; Riverside is very affordable, has lovely weather 9 months a year, and most importantly, has ample parking.

    • bether24 says:

      Every time I see someone taking up two spots I think about that. Maybe when he/she parked there was a motorcycle or Smart Car in front of them. Now that the vehicle has moved it appears as if they’re taking up two spots but that doesn’t tell the whole story. Thanks for posting!

      • Annie says:

        Egg-zactly! One never knows what the scene was for the person who parked. And even if that person was a totally self-absorbed, intentional 2-space taker-upper.. life is just too damn short to get your panties in that much of a twist and indignation. Givng the benefit of the doubt just lets me keep believing in humanity a little bit longer. ;-)

    • teresita says:

      I always think the same thing. I figure, why not give them the benefit of the doubt? Wouldn’t you want the same consideration? We can never know the whole story, and it’s a lot more pleasant to go through life thinking most people are operating with the best intentions.

    • Neighbor Peter says:

      Yes and I’ve had off-meds lean out their house windows and yell at me when I park my MINI so that it will _preserve_ a space for a larger car when one replaces me. You could argue that I should make the space MINI-only as some civic finger to automotive obesity. But then worse things like this happen.

    • kramsey6 says:

      +1. Exactly what I wanted to say.

    • ali says:

      +1 for giving the benefit of the doubt. I drive a tiny car and often come back to it looking like I’m in the middle of spaces when I had actually just parked in-between two rather large vehicles! I’m glad when people cut me slack in those situations because life’s too short for nasty notes. imo…

  14. doug says:

    *your, not you’re. Whoops.

  15. CJ says:

    Those exclamation points!

    • Cortlander says:

      I love them! It makes the crazy rant much more palatable, kinda like using comic sans font. They give the note an absurd, almost whimsical feel.

  16. Cinders says:

    What a cunt!! Take a chill pill ! Folks if you can’t drive into your own garage cuz it’s filled with crap and whatnot, that’s your problem! Who is to say someone else was stopping her from parking better.

  17. sunset51 says:

    I got a kick out of it!

  18. sunset51 says:

    I got a kick out of it.

  19. BAJATO says:

    Cowardice. It is one of those unsolvable problems that anonymity allows. When you know there is no chance you will ever have to answer for your incivility, the sky’s the limit.

    I’m willing to bet that if you WERE able to find out who left the note, and calmly made all of the excellent points mentioned above, your logic wouldn’t convince the person. People rarely change their default way of thinking.

    Kinda spooky: A neighbor you wave or speak to every day is secretly filled with a seething rage over… a parking space. Yikes. Over the years in my job, I have responded to quite a few emergency medical calls where fights between neighbors over parking led to significant injuries and even a couple of stabbings. Still, I like to remain hopeful that the calmer, saner people outnumber the condom-leaving nutjobs.

    How I make myself behave like an adult (lol): When I have to leave a note on a windshield, I always sign it with “Your neighbor at [my address].” If I can’t stand behind the tone or content of my note, it’s wrong to leave it.

  20. SER says:

    Todd, the headline on this story is amazing.

  21. SER says:

    Another thought: didn’t the last set of parking notes on Bocana use the phrase “you don’t even live on this block”? I think Esther is on solid footing with her assessment…..

  22. Winfield says:

    Well, the author of the note really does seem to be rather considerate and generous though. S/he left what appears to be a “Ribbed & Studded Lubricated Condom!” :D

  23. I am willing to bet someone so batshit crazy probably put a pinprick hole in it … just because.

  24. ParkStreetKs says:

    Lots of family-owned homes in Bernal with, now, adult children occupying.
    Many of these “adults” don’t work because they have few living expenses.
    Instead – They spend their days looking out the window and obsessing
    about street parking.

  25. Adrian says:

    First World Problem.

  26. Annie says:

    I am determined to find the writer of this note! Which number block of Bocana was the note found? This is indeed the same person who left the last note that Todd revealed. It is also someone who is having ‘relations’ (although we don’t know the expiration date on that condom). The word ‘dumbass’ and ‘breed’ are typically used by men of a certain age group… I wouldn’t put him past 45. This is a frustrated, self-righteous man who is home a LOT and likely looking out from a window..a LOT. Someone who feels powerful when anonymously casting judgement and making weak threats. Eg: someone with no actual power. With a few Bocana residents weighing in, I think we can figure this out. Once that happens, let us surround this person with a communal hug intervention. And, a JOB.

    • Up the Hill Still says:

      I am sure it’s not a man though. Men don’t typically do exclamation points like that. Bocana Street neighbors should don orange vests and clipboards and go door to door to get to the bottom of this!

  27. Ess says:

    I have a strange feeling that’s my neighbor. He’s, uh, um, yeah. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was his wife, frankly.

  28. Neighbor J says:

    Speaking of parking on Bocana and “entitlement” to the space in front of one’s house. There are two street parking spots on the west side of Bocana, between Cortland and Eugenia, that regularly have orange cones or A-frame orange/white signs in them to prevent people from parking there. Sometimes they are there for days on end, and nobody ever actually parks there. Unbelievable.

    • Up the Hill Still says:

      This used to happen regularly when I lived in the Excelsior (on one of the smaller, cramped, windier streets). We would take the spot and put the cone on top of our car.

  29. Kelly O'Keefe says:

    I had a neighbor on Banks who routinely placed A-frames with no parking signs in front of her house to preserve a parking space; one night, I stole the A-frames; more often than not thereafter, she was able to park in front of her house but she didn’t replace the signs. As well, another neighbor parked a derelict car on the street in the same spot for TWO years and no one complained to DPT.

  30. the GoogleMap Elf says:

    Parking Psycho…great name, Esther!

  31. kramsey6 says:

    Neighbors in a small condo building on the 300 block of Coleridge always leave a cone in front of a small parking space in front of their building (but the space is big enough for an iQ, Smart, or Fiat 500!). That cone pisses me off and I move it whenever possible.

  32. Beef Vindaloo says:

    Free condom!!

  33. noevalleyjim says:

    What is it about driving a car that brings out the psycho in people?

  34. BAJATO says:

    Suggestion: 1) Someone with a security camera (as discussed in many other threads on this blog) should set it up near this incident. 2) Set up a “bait” car. 3) Video the note leaver. 4) Identify them. 5) Torches. Pitchforks. Angry mob. Monster—>wilderness. Back in time for dinner…

  35. Bernal Crank says:

    Here’s a more pressing issue on parking in Bernal.

    On my street, Ellsworth, we have a neighbor who 1) Turned her garage into an illegal apartment without permits on the sly leaving the faux garage door, 2) Began a full-time hotel business via AirBnB renting out the former garage with tourists parking their SUV’s, often two of them on the street, And 3) Posting a large intimidating NO PARKING sign on the faux garage door thus reserving a private parking place on the public street for her as DPT allows you to block your own curb cut–in this case a pseudo garage without driveway.

    This, seems to me rather piggy behavior. She’s breaking at least two laws and to top it off using her illegal doings to take over part of the public street for her personal use.

    This isn’t an isolated case, it’s a trend.

    • BAJATO says:

      I don’t know if it’s more pressing :-)… but FYI: If someone parks in front of your neighbor’s faux garage, and she calls MTA to tow, the PCO is required to make her open the garage door and demonstrate that it is an actual, parkable garage. So that’s one tactic at your disposal.

      Another option: Have you tried talking to your neighbor? IMHO, it might clarify things for you.

      You might find out she is a kind person who is supporting a terminally ill relative on a fixed income and needs the extra cash from the lodgers. Doesn’t make it legal, but maybe her story inspires you to look the other way over a parking space that wasn’t available when it was an actual garage anyway.

      Or she might be a greedy, self-centered jerk who doesn’t give a damn about her neighbors… and you can do what you need to do with a clear conscience.

  36. Byrd Bodega says:

    IJWTS, that before my recent move away from Bernal, my neighbors were very considerate in leaving the space open where I liked to park my VW Bus. When I went out camping I sometimes wondered where I’d park when I returned, and more often than not, “my” space was available.

  37. nsfw says:

    I’m fortunate enough to have a garage for my car, but it doesn’t seem like parking is that hard in Bernal. Is it? I’m not talking about parking in front of your house, but is it less than two or three blocks away from your house? Is that really that bad? Have long timers in Bernal who are cranky ever lived anywhere else in this city or another one? I don’t think anyone in Bernel has circled the blocks for 30 minutes looking for parking. Common folks. Its really not that bad.

  38. I miss winters in Somerville, MA where people would dig out their plowed-in parking spots, pull out their car and then save the spots with lawn chairs. Moving a lawn chair to take that spot OFTEN resulted in major bodily injury or sometimes even missing cars.

  39. Lara says:

    One of my neighbors painted red on either side of their driveway however it does not have the “DPT” stencil. Isn’t that what makes it official/enforceable?

    • R says:

      That’s illegal. You can complain to DPT and they will come paint it over in gray.

      If you want the red stripes you have to pay DPT to come do it..

    • BAJATO says:

      “DPT” is no longer used in official curb marking. The current official stencil contains four characters: a 5-sided star followed by the acronym MTA.

      Also, to clarify, you can’t just “pay DPT to come do it” because you “want the red stripes.” They actually come out to assess the situation using established criteria. For example: whether painted red or not, it is already illegal to block the curb cut of a usable driveway. But if someone needs larger clearance on either side of a driveway because of a narrow street or tight turning angles, MTA calculates the size and placement of the red zones following two MAJOR guidelines: make them as small as possible, and avoid eliminating existing parking spaces.

  40. colerage says:

    We have a neighbor on Coleridge who 1. thinks he ‘owns’ the two spots in front of his house. 2. runs a construction business out of the garage, thus rendering it unusable for parking – not to mention that all of his minions come to our neighborhood to park all day (taking up 7-10 parking spots for 8+ hours at a time) 3. routinely parks a large conversion van for 5-7 days at a time in the same spot (taking up two parking spaces) – simply to preserve the spaces for himself when he comes home and 4. often ‘saves’ those spots for himself with the van so that he can bring his trailered powerboat into the neighborhood for days on end, yes, parked on the street in a spot for two cars – whilst his crew sands fiberglass and uses cleaning chemicals and other pollutants to fix/clean the boat. Whenever any MTA enforcement shows up and leaves him a love note, he makes the rounds of the neighbors, asking in his best bully tone if ‘you are the one who called me in’. I have an idea, neighbor – don’t behave like a douchebag and I won’t treat you like one. Street parking is for everyone, renters and owners alike. It’s pretty simple to be reasonable and not lose sleep over it, but when one person repeatedly behaves in an entitled manner which clearly indicates that he thinks the rules should not apply to him, it’s endlessly frustrating. Our only recourse would be to demand that this part of Bernal become a permit parking area, thus requiring those without addresses in the neighborhood to park for only up to 2 hours without moving their car. This would also solve the problem of the Safeway employees using our neighborhood as their work parking lot, since they are apparently not allowed to park in the lot (although I can’t see what different it would make, given that the Safeway appears to never have more than 3 people working at a given time, anyway…).

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