Category Archives: Animals

Bernal Schoolgirl Offers Neighborly Suggestion to Improve Human-Canine Relations

Junior Neighbor Malia lives on Agnon in St. Mary’s, and she took note of the helpful Poop Avoidance signs that appeared recently on Cortland Avenue. Inspired by that example, Junior Neighbor Malia, age 8, decided to create a public service … Continue reading

Posted in Animals | 31 Comments

Save the Owls: Why You Should Not Use Rat Poison in Bernal Heights

Sad news from our neighborhood neighbors in Glen Park: A Great-Horned Owl that lived in their park died suddenly in November. An autopsy revealed the beautiful bird died after eating a rodent laced with rat poison: Examined at WildCare and … Continue reading

Posted in Animals | 12 Comments

Feline Alert: Lost Cat Missing from Heartfelt

Miss Darcy from Heartfelt on Cortland contacted the Bernalwood Lost Animal Hotline to seek assistance in locating her store’s much-loved cat: Our store cat has gone missing, and I am heartbroken. Here are some pics. His name is Leo D. … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Lost and Found | 4 Comments

Cat Declines Assistance During Dramatic SFFD Feline Rescue Attempt on Coleridge

The first report about the cat stuck in the tree on Coleridge Street arrived in the Bernalwood newsroom on Monday: @Bernalwood There's a smokey gray cat stuck in a tree at 147 Coleridge. He's been there for about 2 days. … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Calamity | 11 Comments

Avian Alert: Has Your White Cockatiel Gone Missing?

This morning we received a high-priorty alert at the Bernalwood Office of Avian Repatriation. Neighbor Brian found a white cockatiel in Bernal Heights: We just captured a white cockatiel that was in our yard all day and was clearly someone’s pet … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Lost and Found | 1 Comment

Confirmed: A Spiritually Significant Owl Sighting on Gates Street

Bernal Heights is famously fashionable and always avant garde, but there has been a sadness at our spiritual core ever since the wonderful Great Horned Owls of Bernal Hill passed away in 2007. Now, however, we are pleased to reveal … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Nature and Wildlife | 11 Comments

Is This Your Cat? Cute Kitty Found Near Precita Park

Is your cat missing in action? Neighbor Rikki found one near Precita Park last night: I found a well-fed and obviously well-loved calico (??) cat outside of Harvest Hills Market (Precita and Folsom). He was wandering around collar-free, so I … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Found Things | 9 Comments

Bernal Heights Bluebird Can’t Resist Cigarette Cravings

Neighbor Preston photographed a blue jay getting a nicotine fix from his balcony on Ripley: This bird flew up to an ashtray, beaked up a cigarette, went back to the railing on the balcony and just chilled there for a … Continue reading

Posted in Animals | 6 Comments

Jawa Raccoons Besiege Bernal Heights Residence

The attempted takeover of Bernal Heights by imperialist raccoons continues. As you can see in this video filmed this week by Neighbor Ben, the glowing eyes of the crafty creatures reveals that they have been mating with Jawas from Tatooine. … Continue reading

Posted in Animals | 11 Comments

Swarm of Hungry Goats Invades College Hill Reservoir

Citizens of Bernalwood, reports are streaming in to our newsroom this morning about a massive Goat Invasion on Bernal Hill. These sightings have been confirmed by Bernalwood’s team of livestock analysts. At the present time the flock of goats is clustered … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Plants and Gardening | 4 Comments

San Francisco’s Penguin Whisperer Migrates to Bernal Heights

Citizens of Bernalwood, please join us in welcoming new neighbor Anthony Brown to Bernal Heights. (Note: Anthony is the creature on the left in the photo above.) By day, Neighbor Anthony has one of the coolest jobs imaginable: He’s the … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Celebrity | 10 Comments

Parrots and Possum in Bernal Heights, Oh My!

I’m pleased to report that the swarm of raccoons that recently attempted to invade my home has retreated back into the jungles of Bernal Heights. For the moment. I hope. Yet wild animals are still active here in our Wild … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Nature and Wildlife, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Why Did This Chicken Cross Precita Park?

Why did this chicken Precita Park on Saturday afternoon? I have no idea! But he crossed it with gusto, in glamorous Bernalwood style. PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Posted in Animals | 2 Comments