Category Archives: Animals

San Francisco’s Penguin Whisperer Migrates to Bernal Heights

Posted on August 13, 2012 by

Citizens of Bernalwood, please join us in welcoming new neighbor Anthony Brown to Bernal Heights. (Note: Anthony is the creature on the left in the photo above.) By day, Neighbor Anthony has one of the coolest jobs imaginable: He’s the … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Celebrity | 10 Comments

Parrots and Possum in Bernal Heights, Oh My!

Posted on August 1, 2012 by

I’m pleased to report that the swarm of raccoons that recently attempted to invade my home has retreated back into the jungles of Bernal Heights. For the moment. I hope. Yet wild animals are still active here in our Wild … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Nature and Wildlife, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Why Did This Chicken Cross Precita Park?

Posted on July 30, 2012 by

Why did this chicken Precita Park on Saturday afternoon? I have no idea! But he crossed it with gusto, in glamorous Bernalwood style. PHOTO: Telstar Logistics

Posted in Animals | 2 Comments

Valiant 4-Year-Old Rescues Baby Snail From Compost Bin

Posted on July 20, 2012 by

Oh, babies. They just get into everything, don’t they? Case in point: This juvenile gastropod was spotted gliding along the outside of an illegally-left-by-the-curb green bin earlier this week. Had it managed to gain ingress, it would no doubt have been … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 1 Comment

Valiant Cat Defends Bernal Home from Swarming Raccoons

Posted on July 18, 2012 by

The raccoon menace continues in Bernal Heights. Last week, I looked up from dining room table to see a pack of FOUR (4) raccoons marching down the walkway in my back yard toward our home. Yet before I could get … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 11 Comments

This Young Bernal Entrepreneur Wants to Jog with Your Dog

Posted on July 17, 2012 by

Bernalwood supports our many merchants and businesses in Bernal Heights, and in that spirit we bring you this announcement from one of our more energetic local service providers: My name is Enoch Pacheco. I’m a 14 year old resident of … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Business, Merchants | 5 Comments

Reptile Alert: Lost Turtle on Brewster

Posted on July 13, 2012 by

Neighbor Donna sent this in to the Bernalwood Lost Animal Hotline last night: I saw this poster on several fences on Brewster St. this afternoon. Keep your eyes open for a slow moving pet! Indeed. If you find the missing … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 3 Comments

Feral Blue Bags of Doggy Poop Invade North Bernal

Posted on July 11, 2012 by

It’s not as much fun as a Bigfoot sighting — but it may be even more smelly. Neighbor Carlina is unhappy to report that blue bags filled with doggy poop have taken root on the streets of Precitaville: The rumors … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Found Things | 16 Comments

Swarming Gastropods Invade Bernal Home, Veeeery Sloooowly

Posted on June 18, 2012 by

Neighbor Michelle reports that her home on Highland Ave. has been besieged by a relentless army of invading snails: Last night I went out to the garage to do my laundry (in true Bernalwood style this means going out the … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Found Things | 10 Comments

Poultry Alert: White Chicken Lost Near Folsom and Ripley

Posted on June 7, 2012 by

Neighbor Orlando has issued an all-points-bulletin seeking help to recover a chicken that has gone missing in the area of Folsom and Ripley streets near the summit of Bernal Hill: My neighbor Rick who lives across the street from me … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 5 Comments

Catlandia: Awesome Parody Video Explains Proper Feral Cat Recovery Technique

Posted on June 6, 2012 by

Speaking of how to deal with things you find on the street, The Bold Italic steers us toward this hilarious AND helpful parody video created by the San Francisco SPCA: The SF SPCA recently recently made this funny spoof of Portlandia. Its video, Catlandia, is all about … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 3 Comments

Resplendent Tree Moose Found in Bernal Back Yard

Posted on May 8, 2012 by

** EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT BERNALWOOD!** Researchers working in a remote Bernal Heights back yard recently made a most startling discovery: The Resplendent Tree Moose, captured during a rare moment of repose in his leafy refuge. Prof. Mason of the Bernalwood … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Found Things | Leave a comment

Giant Slithering Serpent Startles Citizen on Bernal Hill

Posted on April 24, 2012 by

Moments ago, Neighbor Ken transmitted this shocking photo of a four-foot gopher snake to the Bernalwood newsroom: Seen today by Esmeralda steps on Bernal Hill. Coolio! PHOTO: Neighbor Ken

Posted in Animals, Bernal Hill, Found Things, Nature and Wildlife | 18 Comments