Tragedy struck on a recent evening in Bernal Heights when a wicked witch perished in an aeronautical mishap. Neighbors reported hearing the witch cackling as she flew on her signature broom, before her cruel taunt was cut short by an apparent pilot error that sent the witch careening into a telephone pole at the corner of Anderson and Eugenia.
“I heard the whole thing,” recalls neighbor Dorothy Oz. “I heard the witch cry, ‘I’ll get you my pretty, and your little do—‘ But she never finished the sentence. I just heard a whooshing noise, and a dull thud, and then we found the witch wrapped around the pole.”
Representatives from the San Francisco Police, the National Transportation Safety Board, and the Department of Homeland Security are investigating the incident, which has preliminarily been deemed an accident, although experts will also search for any evidence of foul play.
Upon hearing the news, neighborhood youth responded with glee, and at several local elementary schools, teachers report that children spontaneously started to sing the chorus of “Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead” over and over and over and over again.
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics