David C. Hill just published a lovely and atmospheric video that’s all about Bernal’s favorite subject: Us!
It’s called Bernal Heights Spring 2015, and it will pair nicely with a large screen and headphones.
Special celebrity guest stars include: That spooky tree-shrub thingy! The South Van Artery! Sutrito Tower! And of course… Karl the Fog!
Plus: Dogs! Sun! Colorful light! And plenty of Bernal neighbors shown in atmospheric silhouette.
Enjoy your journey.
Ah, the simple pleasures….
Last weekend I went for a lovely walk in the warm sun on Bernal Hill, surrounded by gentle breezes, rustling grass, barking dogs, laughing children, and the whirring hum of a video drone capturing footage of the whole scene.
Not complaining, because the drone’s operator was being very careful considerate, and the fancy new tech somehow felt familiar and ancient — sort of like a mechanical hummingbird. Timeless and cutting edge, all at the same time.
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics
Do you remember that City meeting a few weeks back to review the proposed pedestrian-safety changes to the intersection of Bernal Heights Boulevard and Bernal Heights Boulevard at the southeastern side of the hill, near the glamorous Vista Pointe Minipark? Well, Neighbor Tom attended the meeting, and took great notes, and made some spiffy diagrams of new crosswalks and new stop signs, and he thinks the current proposal needs revision. Neighbor Tom says:
First, the facts:
Three Bernal residents spoke, of which I was one. No diagrams were presented or handed out, but two of us were able to look at a diagram (by request) before the meeting started.
Of the three that spoke, all approved of making some improvements. Two of us approved of the stop signs, one felt it unnecessary, but the crosswalk is good. As far as I could tell, there was no resolution on this, just the hearing of opinions.
I created a sketch of the plans from memory. (I don’t like recreating drawings from memory, because it’s inaccurate, but if they’re not going to give handouts, then…)
The yellow parts are roughly what their plans showed. Here’s a version of the diagram with other colors added by me to illustrate my personal opinion.
My opinion is:
1. Locating the crossing at C will encourage people to walk the red path, with leads to a tricky crossing of Bradford (where a stop cannot be added, due to the #67 bus).
2. Locating the crossing at B instead would encourage the green route, which benefits from the pre-existing ‘stop’ on Bradford, and could be further improved by a cross walk.
The MTA say that the crossing must be located at C, since that’s where Parks and Rec have decided to put stairs.
Yes, stairs! I’m opposed to the stairs, since they will lead users to further steep loose ground, which they then have to ascend (or turn back). They therefore violate the principle of “don’t trick people into thinking they’re safe.” I’m informed that the stairs will help reduce erosion. I suspect they’ll do the opposite – they’ll encourage more people to take the route.
ILLUSTRATIONS: Neighbor Tom
Okay, so we now know that Bernal Heights is for [all kinds of] lovers. But rest assured: Not everyone who expresses their affections on Bernal Hill is batshit crazy.
Neighbor Abner from Alabama Street shares some lovely news about a romantic wedding that took place on Bernal Hill last weekend:
Cara is my sister-in-law, and her long time beau is Joey. They lived in Bernal for most of the last 5 years, and the couple were married in a lovely, fairly impromptu wedding on the hill last Saturday. As of last week, they’ve relocated to LA for a job opportunity, but they wanted to finally tie the knot — after a long engagement— with family and the great community they built here.
There was a raucous party at our place afterwards.
Big congrats and best wishes to the happy couple, and never forget…
PHOTO: The wedding of Cara and Joey on Bernal Hill, via Neighbor Abner
Ah, the things we do for love.
You no doubt recall that weird incident earlier this week which saw a car crash into a guard rail near the summit of Bernal Hill beyond the access road gate. And then, of course, the driver of the vehicle declared he was Steve Jobs.
Well it turns out the whole thing was a romantic interlude that went horribly, terribly, insanely, stupidly wrong. So someone at SFPD’ Ingleside station had a lot of fun writing it up in the station’s normally staid crime newsletter:
Monday, March 16th, 2015
7:20am Bernal Heights/Anderson Vandalism
The third time was not a charm for two young lovers who wanted to park in a spot with a view of the City. The man and woman decided to consummate their feelings by the Bernal Heights radio tower. However, the road to the tower is protected by a gate thwarting their amorous plans, but only for a short minute. The lovers decided that no gate was going to prevent a wonderful morning so the two, in their Honda Civic, rammed the gate to gain entrance. But the gate didn’t break. So, they backed up and hit the gate a second time and again the gate held tight. The third time, they backed up even farther, and successfully broke open the gate, before speeding up the access road to the top of the hill. All the noise alerted nearby residents and dog walkers who promptly called police. Ingleside Officers Wong and Chang responded and found the couple, and their severely damaged Honda, parked near the radio towers. Both were put in custody and the driver, who didn’t have a valid California license or insurance, was booked for trespassing, vandalism, malicious mischief, and other charges. Report number: 150233507
Further proof: Bernal Heights is for lovers.
PHOTO: Car crashed on Bernal Hill, March 16, 2015, by Neighbor Devon
Reports are just coming in, but Neighbor Devon shared this [strangely beautiful] photo of an automobile crash at the very summit of Bernal Hill this morning, above the barrier gate near Sutrito Tower:
I’m not sure how they got through the barrier. I was near the top and witnessed it from 20ft away on the other side of the barrier. The drivers were speeding up the service road and crashed near the bench. The driver told me not to call the cops, and said he was Steve Jobs. They fled into the cellular tower gate. The suspects were in police custody when I left.
@bernaljournal (who is not the same as the Bernal Journal newspaper) reports that the perps apparently went Dukes of Hazzard through the gate:
…And of course, it was created in the diabolical La Lengua laboratories of rebel agitator and digital manipulator Burrito Justice.
It’s pretty great, although we might propose one slight improvement…