Ah, the things we do for love.
You no doubt recall that weird incident earlier this week which saw a car crash into a guard rail near the summit of Bernal Hill beyond the access road gate. And then, of course, the driver of the vehicle declared he was Steve Jobs.
Well it turns out the whole thing was a romantic interlude that went horribly, terribly, insanely, stupidly wrong. So someone at SFPD’ Ingleside station had a lot of fun writing it up in the station’s normally staid crime newsletter:
Monday, March 16th, 2015
7:20am Bernal Heights/Anderson Vandalism
The third time was not a charm for two young lovers who wanted to park in a spot with a view of the City. The man and woman decided to consummate their feelings by the Bernal Heights radio tower. However, the road to the tower is protected by a gate thwarting their amorous plans, but only for a short minute. The lovers decided that no gate was going to prevent a wonderful morning so the two, in their Honda Civic, rammed the gate to gain entrance. But the gate didn’t break. So, they backed up and hit the gate a second time and again the gate held tight. The third time, they backed up even farther, and successfully broke open the gate, before speeding up the access road to the top of the hill. All the noise alerted nearby residents and dog walkers who promptly called police. Ingleside Officers Wong and Chang responded and found the couple, and their severely damaged Honda, parked near the radio towers. Both were put in custody and the driver, who didn’t have a valid California license or insurance, was booked for trespassing, vandalism, malicious mischief, and other charges. Report number: 150233507
Further proof: Bernal Heights is for lovers.
PHOTO: Car crashed on Bernal Hill, March 16, 2015, by Neighbor Devon
Reports are just coming in, but Neighbor Devon shared this [strangely beautiful] photo of an automobile crash at the very summit of Bernal Hill this morning, above the barrier gate near Sutrito Tower:
I’m not sure how they got through the barrier. I was near the top and witnessed it from 20ft away on the other side of the barrier. The drivers were speeding up the service road and crashed near the bench. The driver told me not to call the cops, and said he was Steve Jobs. They fled into the cellular tower gate. The suspects were in police custody when I left.
@bernaljournal (who is not the same as the Bernal Journal newspaper) reports that the perps apparently went Dukes of Hazzard through the gate:
…And of course, it was created in the diabolical La Lengua laboratories of rebel agitator and digital manipulator Burrito Justice.
It’s pretty great, although we might propose one slight improvement…
Neighbor Richard has found a creative outlet in the little bags of doggie poo he often finds around Bernal Hill:
I submit that these pictures are worthy of your publication if only for the insidious danger and warning to our community they represent. Surely nobody has submitted pictures of s*** so beautifully wrapped and photographed in a natural park setting? What can be done? What shall we do?
Like many Bernal denizens, I walk frequently upon our glorious hill — and I’ve been doing that for some 15 years now. I cannot help but notice this strange practice has been increasing over the past year, and it really bespoils the hill for everyone. It has always amazed me that so many many dog owners are so irresponsible. No fault is due the dogs, but some owners, after using a plastic bag for the inevitable, will not carry it to the trash receptacle once the deed is done. Instead they leave the gift wrapped poop plainly in sight for someone else to pick up behind them. At least they don’t sling it into the bushes (although I haven’t really checked).
These are pictures I took Saturday late afternoon during just one 30 minute walk around the hill.
PHOTOS: Neighbor Richard
Neigbor John and his 7 year-old son Eddie have been out bird-watching again, and they bring us this update on some of the avians they’ve spotted recently around Bernal Heights:
Getting good focus on the birds is really hard, as they move around a lot, and the plants have a tendency to attract the auto zoom. But we have great birds on the hill, and this is one way to share them.
Here are three super cool birds all found in less than fifteen minutes in the pine trees just up Bernal Heights Boulevard near the gate on the north side of the hill.
The first is a Nutthall’s Woodpecker. We are more familiar with the Ladder Backed Woodpecker, but it generally doesn’t come this far north and the red is a bit further back on the head of the Nutthall’s, which you can clearly see here. There must be a ton of bugs in the dead trunk just up from the live pines as this woodpecker was pecking ferociously:
The Pygmy Nuthatch and Chestnut Backed Chickadee are in a dead heat for cutest bird on the hill. Here’s the Pygmy Nuthatch:
Birds standing still in the nice light is a highly unnatural act, and the cutest birds seem to be the most shy. Here’s the Chestnut Backed Chickadee:
It looks like we also have a pair of Red Tailed Hawks nesting on the hill. If you look closely, you can see nesting material in the hawk’s beak. I hope we can look forward to a few months of serious hawk activity:
PHOTOS: Neighbor John and Neighbor Eddie
Celebrity blogger (and Olde Bernalwood Friend) Om Malik visited Bernal Hill recently, at an early morning hour which we rarely experience because of its horrific earliness. But with that said, Om’s photo makes a strong case for early-rising, because the light and colors he captured are so beautiful. Bravo, Om, and thanks!
At the same time, Om also created a cool photo essay that steered us toward a special #36Bernal hashtag that was used by visitors to the 36 Questions installation that sat atop Bernal Hill last week. Here’s a sample:
These two Bernalese really got into it:
Folks even seemed to enjoy it in all sorts of weather:
PHOTO: Top, by Om Malik
There’s a wonderful installation on Bernal Hill for the next few days, and it’s perfect for this Valentine’s season. Neighbor Jessica tells Bernalwood:
I just learned via facebook that a friend of mine, Chris, created a fun Valentine’s Day activity on our own Bernal hill… It’s called The 36 Q:
Basically, it’s two chairs arranged around a desk/treasure box. There are 36 innnnnnnteresting questions engraved into the lid of the treasure box, and the idea is that you answer the questions with your sweetie to gain Profound New Insight into one another. It’s a little bit like The Dating Game, only more intimate, and the prizes are more clever, and it’s on Bernal Hill, atop that mini-peak along the Folsom axis just below the guard rail.
The kuhlhunters at The Bold Italic explain the backstory:
By now we’ve all seen that “36 Questions to Make You Fall in Love” article in the New York Times. Local artists Mustafa Khan and Chris McCoy decided those questions need to get out in the open this Valentine’s Day. He engraved the questions on an antique treasure chest alongside a set of chairs and a “not reserved” sign on Bernal Hill. You and your date (or a total stranger) can sit at this table and fall in love with the killer view…and maybe each other. Khan says there’s also a “special surprise” inside the chest, which will be at the top of the staircase on Ellsworth and Bernal Heights Blvd until next Sunday.
Got that? Get there before Feb. 23, and enjoy.
PHOTOS: 36 Questions on Bernal Hill, February 14, 2015, 5 pm, by Telstar Logistics