Tonight: Mysterious Meeting to Establish Parking Permits for North Bernal

nebernalmysterysign2 Neighbor MM spotted handbills from the so-called “Northeast Bernal Parking Alliance” drifting around Precitaville. Apparently, there’s a meeting tonight, Tuesday, July 28 at 7 pm at the Precita Valley Neighborhood Center to discuss a proposal to turn much of North Bernal into an official Residential Permit Parking (RPP) zone. Neighbor MM writes:

Perhaps you have seen these around? I am always a little suspicious about things like this with no email address or URL, and I can’t find anything online when I search Northeast Bernal Parking Alliance. Which leads me to believe this is the work of one irate neighbor who is about to ruin things for all of us. My opinion: While I’ve noticed some parking problems, notably neighbors leaving their cars in the same spot for weeks or months on end, people need to realize that once you call in the DPT – there is no undo. Sure one person from Google might get a ticket, but once the DPT begins patrolling the streets and marking up cars, we the residents will get the bulk of the tickets. Nearly every driveway on my street sports at least 20 cars that are parked in driveways and are kind of sort of a little bit blocking the sidewalk. Ticket! When we go away and have relatives housesit? Ticket! A friend from another neighborhood coming by for lunch and a long walk? Can’t park here! I lived in the Mission prior to Bernal and residents fought to get two hour parking on our street and I didn’t think much about it – until I realized my car was registered in San Mateo, not San Francisco, and I couldn’t get a permit. It was a huge pain for me, and all the things I mentioned above happened. It is not worth it. It is already illegal to park for more than 72 hours and that takes care of the big problems. People parking for the day? Shrug. In many cases it is merely an exchange. I leave and drive to work and someone takes my place, leaves at the end of the day and I take it back. It’s okay. I’ll go to this meeting but I urge people to consider what it means when the DPT starts patrolling. YOU get the ticket, not some imaginary bus riding tech worker from the Marina.

Hmmm. We do wonder: Why does the graphic on the handbill include so many question marks? Who is the “Northeast Bernal Parking Alliance?” Who are they allied with? Is this another one of those Ron Conway organizations that seeks to further gentrify San Francisco? Or is it instead the leading edge of yet another imperialist Calle24 plot to annex North Bernal and transform it into a private parking preserve? To get answers to these and other questions, attend the meeting tonight: NORTHEASTBERNAL_MEETING_FLYER-5

Register NOW to Sell Your Treasure at the 2015 Bernal Heights Hillside Garage Sale

Bernal Hill from Billy Goat Hill Park

Attention, all ye Bernalese pack-rats with the urge to purge! The 2015 Bernal Heights Hillwide Garage Sale happens on August 8 — less than two weeks from today, so now is the time to register your address to appear on the high-tech 2015 Hillside Garage Sale Treasure Map.

Hillwide Garage Sale co-organizer and Neighbor Michael Minson explains how to participate:

I’m pleased to announce the website is now live and ready to accept registrations for the great garage sale of 2015 taking place on Saturday, August 8 from 9 am -2 pm.

Hillwide is a San Francisco tradition, and a fabulous way for our Hillbabies to unload their crap, clear their clutter, and otherwise rightsize their lives both for cash and existential bliss.

The Hillwide is arguably the largest single day garage sale in San Francisco. Last year, we raised $1,860 for the Bernal Heights Neighborhood Center strictly from map registrations. This year, our goal is to beat that like a vintage rug from grandma’s earthquake cottage.

If you’ve been hankering for a cleansing, drink a kale juice smoothie and clean out the deepest corners of your garage, basement, bonus room or creepy storage place.

Register your treasure trove and make your donation to the BHNC via the world-famous Internet at

Then just open your garage door on Saturday, 8-August, put on some funky grooves and pour yourself a mimosa (or three), because Hillwide is on!

The Hillwide elves will promote the event across the city and bring the masses to your doorstep. But you have to register for the plundering masses to find you.

Tonight: Phonographic Memories Picks Up the Beat, Moves to Glamorous New Bernal Nightclub Location


You may remember that way back in September 2014, Neighbor Corey launched a project called Phonographic Memory by hosting informal, open-mike sessions at the Bernal Heights library where people were invited to share stories and music from their favorite old vinyl records.

Phonographic Memory has now become a regular thing, and here’s how it goes down:

Now Phonographic Memory graduates from the Bernal library and relocates to Bernal’s stretch of Mission Street, where you can join in tonight, June 30, at 7 pm at the Knockout (3223 Mission @Valencia).

Neighbor Corey brings the news, and the invitation:

For June, we have a very special edition of Phonographic Memory planned for you. We’re throwing a party! We’re making the trek from our usual spot at the Bernal Library down the hill to The Knockout, because libraries close early, and we want to party together all night long.

We’ve curated a diverse lineup of individuals who have contributed to the Bay Area music scene: Justin Torres (record dealer and DJ who helped re-ignite soul singer Darondo’s career), Lydia Popovich (stand-up comedian who managed Quannum records in the early 2000’s), Dan Lactose (guitarist for seminal punk/powerviolence band Spazz, producer for Hip-Hop duo Grand Invincible), and Winston Smith (artist responsible for designing the Dead Kennedy’s logo as well as countless album covers).

We have DJ’s Brycon, Wam Bam Ashleyanne and Stef providing the soundtrack to rock the night away.

The event will serve as a fundraiser of sorts, and will be complimented by an IndieGoGo campaign. We are asking a $5 donation at the door, and guarantee that you will be entertained!

Our goal is to obtain non-profit status, and ultimately secure grants to grow Phonographic Memory into a global community.

Music starts at 7:00pm, stories at 8:00. Hope to see you there!

Friday: Last Call to See Bernal Artist Bernie Lubell’s Beautiful Homemade Airship



A few weeks ago, Bernal artist Bernie Lubell reached out to the Bernalwood News Desk to tell us he was  building an airship in his Bernal Heights garage.

Normally, that would be a shocking! revelation! But it’s to be expected from Neighbor Bernie, who was last seen in 2014 constructing a giant Rube Goldberg machine in his Bernal Heights garage. So the manufacture of an airship came as little surprise.

Anyway, Neighbor Bernie’s airship is the centerpiece of a new show called Up in the Air at the fabulous Southern Exposure Gallery in the Mission:

From June 13-27, artist Bernie Lubell installs his workshop and collaborates with visitors to create new work. Lubell creates wood mechanical metaphors for the human condition. Gears, pulleys, bellows, valves, levers, human force and sophisticated engineering power his interactive wooden machines. As an artist who has lived and worked in the Bay Area for 40 years, his influence is felt in the work of many local artists.

Collaborate with Bernie as he sets out to build an airship in the gallery at Southern Exposure. In two workshops and ongoing studio hours, visitors and Bernie will work together to create an air powered flying machine inspired by Frederick Marriott’s 1869 airship Avitor, expanding on Bernie’s ongoing research into breath and the force of air.

The show is winding down, but don’t panic! You can still see the work.

Neighbor Bernie tells us there’s a glamourous closing party happening tomorrow evening, Friday, June 26, from 6 – 8 pm at Southern Exposure… and of course you get in free if you show the top-secret Bernal hand signal:

Closing Party for Up In the Air
Join Southern Exposure for a celebration of Bernie Lubell’s work and everything that was created together over the past two weeks during his exhibition Up In the Air.
Friday, June 26, 2015, 6:00 – 8:00 PM
Southern Exposure (3030 20th Street, SF)

PHOTO: Neighbor Bernie’s airship at Southern Exposure on Sunday, June 21, 2015. Photo by Bernie Lubell

Save the Date: The 2015 Bernal Heights Hillwide Garage Sale Happens on August 8

Bernal Hill from Billy Goat Hill Park

Dear Neighbors, the Season of The Purge is almost upon us.

On Saturday, August 8, 2015, Bernal Heights will hold the annual Hillwide Garage Sale, during which all the Citizens of Bernalwood will have the opportunity to sell-off all the worldly crap treasures that now clutter and oppress your closets and garages.

The Hillwide Garage Sale is a Bernal Heights tradition, and we’ll have more details soon on how to register your home to appear on the magical High-Tech Treasure Map.

But for now, just mark your calendar, and start sorting through your surplus stuff to figure out what you want to unload. Because you’ll feel so much better when you do.


Wednesday: A Conversation About Parking Woes in North Bernal


Amid all the highly energized conversations happening in Our Faire City about scarce housing, a growing population, a booming economyexclusionary zoning, and nativist resentment, it’s somewhat remarkable that there has been so relatively little anxiety expressed in recent years about street parking in Bernal Heights.

Apart from the usual tempo of passive aggressive parking note gems, the Bernalwood Public Sentiment Tracking System has not detected much recent change in the intensity of conversation about street parking — other than to say that the conversation is always somewhat intense. But beneath the surface, tensions have come to a boil. According to a new handbill circulating in North Bernal, the parkopalypse is here, and the time for an Urgent Conversation About Street Parking is now.

Tomorrow, June 24, at 7 pm in the Precita Neighborhood Center, an ad hoc group of Bernal neighbors will gather to commiserate about street parking and discuss what is to be done. If that sounds like your kind of thing, then this may be just the kind of thing for you.


Oh, and if you go, please report back here on the outcome.

PHOTO: Above, Neighbor Simon; below, Telstar Logistics

Sunday: Join Neighbors Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens for an Ecosexy Walking Tour of Bernal Hill


This weekend, glamorous Bernal neighbor and sex-positive superstars Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens kick off a series of Pride Week events related to their Here Come the Ecosexuals project.

The ecocitement begins this weekend, with a pair of exploration walks on Bernal Hill. And since you’re so supersexy, you’re invited:

This Sunday, June 21 meet us – Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens – at our sparkly blue ‘Pollination Pod’. We will be doing two walking tours of Bernal Hill at 10:30am and 5:00pm.

You’ll be greeted by us and our friendly scouts: Pale Breast, Kalash, and Maria Ramirez. The adventure begins with Ecosex Orientation, then we’ll locate some E-spots (ecosexy spots) and explore ways to make love to the Earth through the senses.

Local environmental issues will be brought out into the open. There will be plenty of adventure and drama will ensue. The show will include a special water toast and culminate at the golden stone. By the end of the walking tour you’ll have an ‘ecosexual gaze’ and you might discover that you are an ecosexual too!

When: June 21st, at 10:30am (meet at 10:15am) and 5:00pm (Meet at 4:45pm) at our garage next to

Where: On the south side of Bernal Hill in San Francisco. The walking tour begins at the south entrance to Bernal Heights Park, on Bernal Heights Blvd. one block west of Anderson Street. Look for the bright blue ‘Pollination Pod’ trailer.

Cost: Free! Project is funded by our grantors and collaborating organizations. Donations welcome.

P.S. Both tours will be filmed. If you do not want to be filmed we will give you a special hat to wear so our videographer makes sure not to catch you on film!

We will have free snacks and kombucha after the tours for our walkers and our neighbors from our sponsors: Becka Shertzer of Brazen Nector, GT Kombucha, and Peeple’s Donut Farm.

PHOTO: Annie Sprinkle and Beth Stephens, by Manuel Vason with Guillermo Gomez Pena