Over the weekend, Todd Berman spotted this unicycle parked on Cortland right outside Wild Side West. In a way, this photo is a perfect metaphor for everything Bernal Heights represents. For example:
It’s a unicycle, which is an idiosyncratic way to roll.
It’s an all-terrain unicycle, because we are an all-terrain people.
It is parked outside a bar, because that’s how we party.
It has pink pedals, because we have just a touch of flair.
It is tethered to a tree, because we take security seriously.
See anything else metaphorically Bernalese in this remarkably revealing photo? Do tell.
PHOTO: Todd Berman
Neighbor Robert has made an important discovery: A new fairy door in Bernal Heights!
To safeguard the interests of all parties involved, Neighbor Robert has decided to keep the tiny door’s coordinates under wraps. Reporting live from his mobile phone, Neighbor Robert writes:
I found this fairy door in the ‘hood. I don’t want to announce the location lest something happen to it.
PHOTO: Neighbor Robert
Neighbor Jenny on Bocana found this teddy bear on a Bernal Heights street, and she wants to help it get back home:
I found this teddy bear the other day, face-planted at the side of the street like a victim in some fuzzy version of CSI. He was found near the corner of Eugenia and Bocana. I turned him over and melted a little bit: he’s filthy from his time on the street, but obviously well loved. Given my own daughter’s attachment to her stuffed BFF – a linen-pants-wearing toad named Lewis – I decided to pick up the bear and try to get him his family back.
If this was your teddy bear, please contact the Bernalwood Lost Stuffie Hotline at bernalwood at gmail dot com to restore wholeness to the universe.
PHOTO: Neighbor Jenny
This is the kind of thing that almost makes you grateful for passive-aggressive parking notes. Almost. Because rather than just complaining about an awkwardly parked car, this note explains that an awkwardly curious cat was unceremoniously shipped off to Animal Control.
Neigbor Lev reports:
I found this superlatively passive-aggressive note on my walk today. Gee, I hope this guy’s owners see it… or else it’s off to the violin factory for this cat.
The note says (in English and Spanish):
This cat keeps coming into our house through the dog door. It seems like it may have another home in the neighborhood.
The humans in the house are allergic to cats, and the dog hates them. So the cat is now at Animal Care & Control (415-554-6364)
Yikes! Is this your cat, missing from the east side of Bernal around Mojave and Peralta? Well, now you know where he/she went.
UPDATE, 12:10 pm: The kitty’s owner saw this post, and the vagabond cat will soon be on the way home:
Thanks to Bernalwood, RKNN’s owner is on his way to the shelter right now! RKNN (aka Sebastian) just moved to Bradford and Mojave and must have gotten lost after sneaking out. Our immediate neighbors were kind enough to rescue him (thanks, JB!). I’m sure he will be chipped and collared after this.
PHOTO: Neighbor Lev
A neighbor on Elsie was bemused to find this cranky parking note placed under the windshield wipers of many cars on the street.:
This was placed on many cars on the block, most of which DO belong to people on the street. I checked our security footage and saw someone doing it at 9:50pm. Unfortunately, the picture wasn’t very good.
It’s true; the picture isn’t very good. Then again, it’s better than no picture at all. Bernalwood has reviewed the security camera video, and we can confirm that it clearly reveals Cranky Parking Note-Leaver Person on Elie as a vigorous biped, and not… something else.
Here’s a still image of Cranky Parking Note-Leaver Person, leaving cranky parking notes on Elsie during the evening of July 10, 2014:
On a recent evening, your Bernalwood editor was strolling in downtown Cortlandia, near the glamorous northeast corner of Cortland and Ellsworth. I looked up as I passed the corner store, and noticed a rather beautiful, retrolicious neon sign that declared “Pay Little.”
“Words to live by!” I thought. “A credo for the Bernal tribe!”
It was right there — in gorgeous glowing neon. Yet why hadn’t I noticed this gem before?
From the style and the typeface, the sign looked midcentury, circa 1940s. But it was also pristine, and as I looked more closely, I realized that it wasn’t old at all. It was a new sign, extremely well executed. Bravo!
A quick chat with the gentleman behind the counter at the Pay Little confirmed my hypothesis: The sign is new, although it does look old. And it’s classically cool, regardless.
PHOTO: Telstar Logistics
Neighbor Rebekah is searching for the owner of this wayward doggie:
On the full-moon evening of Friday the 13th, a dog was found roaming Precita Park. She looks like a Manchester Terrier or Min-Pin and appears to be about 9-18 months old, approx 25 lbs. Sweet and very scared with no microchip or collar. For now she is being fostered by Precita Park’s dogwalker-whisperer, Luke. If anyone recognizes this cutie, could they call Animal Care and Control or (415) 518-3984?
If the owner is not located, the dog will likely become available for adoption.